Long Distance Relationship Works (Part 1)

Repeat: Long Distance Relationship Works.

I'm still undecided on this issue. Jake believes that long distance relationships work. He actually phrased it in a mumbled question (while his lips are pressed on mine) "Why, don't you think long-distance relationships work?" You might not remember it babe but I do because I remember how I did not answer it because, as I've said I'm still undecided on the issue.

This is a long overdue post prompted by two close friends of mine that are in or about to embark on a long distance relationship. First, do I have to put a dash in between "long" and "distance"? I think so. The fact that this is overdue owes to the same reason, which is my indecision on the topic at hand.

It's also interesting because the same issue gives way to another, even more complex set-up of cross-cultural relationship. Not just interracial but cross-cultural. I digress: interracial sounds like animals cavorting with another species. I'll stick to the term cross-cultural as it sounds more academic.

Frankie, yes, Frank Ulrich Cudal von Krefeld, the scion of German ex-nobility, left Manila last month to go back to his native Germany, leaving behind another dear friend Jai. In an interesting twist of events, Jai sent me an SMS about how he was worried about Frankie. I was surprised by that statement. First because I thought I knew Frankie better as his friend. And second because I didn't expect such a reaction from Jai. You see, Jai and Frankie met through me. Jai saw Frankie's pic online through my Multiply and oh-so sweetly asked if I could intervene in their fateful meeting. What was a good friend like me to do but introduce and introduce I did.

Jai's, well, "history" with boys is more colorful than the Pantone palette to say the least. And Frankie is still, well, confused on whether he digs boys exclusively or boys and girls equally. I was not sure about what the outcome will be when the two inevitably meet in oh-so romantic Manila a few months after their online meeting.

Well they hit it off quite well. Quite is an understatement.

The time came last month when Frankie had to go back to Germany to get ready for Uni in September. He spent the last few months of his stay in Manila away from our set of friends and more with Jai, which is of course understandable. I wasn't there at the airport so I don't know what happened at the exact moment when he officially left.

Fast-forward a few days later and I receive the text from Jai. He was concerned about how Frankie was handling all this while they're apart. They're committed to staying together despite the distance and have been making future plans together. In fact, Frankie will spend the three months leading to Uni openings in the Philippines just to be with Jai. He'll be back by June.

Jai, who is a few years older, just quit his work to focus on graduate school. Frankie is just entering University. And I think, at his age, he doesn't know what he wants to be yet.

I really thought that Jai would fare worse in this setup than Frankie. With our upbringing, we Filipinos tend to be more emotional about things like this. And I was thinking that with his age, Jai would be more inclined to actually hold on to this relationship than Frankie, who, with his age, seems to be wanting to try things out. That was what was going on in my head. But the reality seemed reversed.

Three months of course, is not a long time to wait. But what about in the long-term? Can this work? Can two people, of two different upbringings with oceans between them, with different life priorities, make this work?

Up next: A walking case study. KK and Arthur bring more drama into their already-steaming stew of clashing cultures and personas. And they say that they're a couple.