Long Distance Relationships

I passed by the Manila Gay Guy blog two weeks ago and chanced upon an entry and a podcast about a long distance relationship with a twist. I didn't manage to finish the podcasts because they were bandwidth-heavy. But it inspired me to think about that fundamental question: Do long-distance relationships work?

Take my friend KK. He doesn't think that it would work. He's leaving for Europe within the year and he's not willing to risk it with his new guy, Alfie. One of our friends who also left to study in Europe broke up with her boyfriend while she was there because she found someone else.

KK thinks that the temptation to cheat is too powerful to resist.

Honestly, I personally don't know what I feel about. I mean, sure I would want it to work but hopefully I wouldn't have to be faced with the choice of leaving Jake behind for my own happiness. Between Jake and I, I don't think that either of us would hold us back from growing personally even if it means leaving for elsewhere or being apart from each other. I can actually imagine it. My career would most likely take me to London and his passion would take him to New York. A trans-Atlantic romance looms around the corner and hopefully by then it would still be brewing.

I think it's not a question of whether it works or not. Either it's a question of wanting it to work or being meant for each other. Not all long distance relationship work because not all people in such a relationship want it to work or not all of them are meant to be. Still, there's a sliver of hope for many others who think that they are meant to be, and want their relationship to work. It's like passing judgment on a gay relationship. Many people, if not most, say that gay relationships don't work just because they are gay. So we can't really say that long-distance relationships don't work just because of the distance.

By the end of the year, KK will be leaving for Europe with an excess baggage. I just don't know if it will be: guilt, for leaving without letting his man know from the onset; remorse, for emotionally investing in a foredoomed relationship, or hope, that maybe this time, for the two of them, it would be different.