Friday, March 28, 2008

Be Careful Whom You Share Your Thoughts With

It was more of my fault. I was over-sharing. There are things about my relationships with Jake that I should have kept myself. Also, there are opinions that you should have kept to yourself as well. So that makes the two of us equally guilty. And then, there's also a rule that you shouldn't kick a man when he's already down. Or don't rub more salt into a wound you helped to create. So that tips the balance towards my advantage.

You don't know half of my relationship with Jake and you're telling me that it's almost the end for us based on the choices that the two of us made. Either you're really the self-proclaimed pessimist that you are, or you're just beyond this generation, or your idea of a relationship is pegged on a certain stereotype that can no longer be changed to your disadvantage.

Jake and I worked hard on this relationship to get to where we are now. I'm not really affected by what you said or your opinion of it, nor by your snide remarks. I'm just annoyed by the fact that you can just judge a relationship without even knowing a fourth of how it happened and talk as if you're the authority on relationships when you were too proud to even try to make your last relationship work.

I'm just thinking that maybe, you're projecting your mentality to me. This is what you think would happen - or maybe this was what actually happened - to your relationships.

When people are brave enough to make tough choices to make each other happy, you shouldn't strike it down just because it doesn't conform to your beliefs. OK, granted that I shouldn't just had said anything. But you might as well had shut up.

I need no apologies and I doubt if you even would offer some. At least I learned a lesson: be careful whom you share your thoughts with. Especially on your relationships. They might not understand. It's not their fault. The best person to talk to first about your relationship is your partner. Because he's the only one who knows everything about it other than you and he give his thoughts on it as it is. Not based on an imagined existence or parallel personalities. The problem with most failed relationships is that they talk to others first about their problems before they talk to their partners. And you get this whole notion of a problem being there when it's not really much of anything. People love to play problem solvers so they create or aggravate problems. Making mountains out of molehills. The more pessimistic ones want to be ones to tell you that they told you so. And sadly, some of us want to create problems or feel the need to create problems just to be the center of attention. Talk to your partners first! It might not be a problem at all.

After that incident, I talked to Jake about it. And we talked about our supposed "issues" which, after some discussion (and much flirting over the phone) turn out to be non-issues. Our biggest issue as it turns out is knowing what other people think about our relationships. It kinda sucks but they're not the ones who are in this relationship. It's me and Jake. So they might be entitled to their own opinions but in the end, the only opinion that matters and counts is mine and Jake's.

Life's been wonderful with Jake. As he said himself, he's willing to milk this for all it's worth, the good and the bad. So let's enjoy this, Jake.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sharing intimate thoughts only becomes a regretful act once shared to the wrong person. And knowing who's who, is such a long process, if not it might even take practically almost forever.

I guess, good thing that came out of this situation is that you were made aware of what should be done - to communicate untold worries to parties involved. It was nice that the effect of a pessimists comment didn't get you to turn degrees away from what originally created your relationship in the first place - faith, hope and love.

Remember, it takes only a drop of doubt to ruin an ocean of love. And that doubt mostly doenst come planted within parties, but outside it.

As a rule, a friend's role it to be a mere support, unless opinions are really asked for. But if you asked for his opinion, you really can't hold it against him. It is after all just his opinion.

Take care! And I do hope for you and jake to grow stronger and surpass all obstacles (or medling people for that matter) to come your way. :)

(ay sorry, ang haba ng comment ko, hehehe)

Boyd said...

your comment was worth a post. hahaha. thanks for your insights. i guess we've the same train of thought.

you know i didn't really ask for his opinion. it was more of his reaction. where an ambiguous "oh" would suffice, he inserted a doomsday scenario. that's getting too much for asking for nothing.

i hope for the same for you and your special someone. :)