Monday, March 31, 2008

Waking up with... J.P. Calderon




Yes! Another JDMA alumni. Two in a row. J.P. Calderon is so hot, you can't just give him a miss. So here he is, gracing the pages of Life with Boyd and Jake as he deserves it.

Why you wanna wake up with J.P.:
1) He was on "Survivor Cook Islands". (Survivor where? I know! I lost count myself!)
2) He's on the "Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency".
3) He's GAY. OUT and PROUD!
4) He's a jock (if volleyball counts).
5) He's a 2(x)ist model!
6) He's just smouldering HOT!

Here's an interview that appeared on Instinct magazine with him on the cover:

J.P. Calderon | Print |
Written by Mike Wood | photo by Peter Brown
Thursday, 01 February 2007
SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

This last year has been a real whirlwind for professional volleyball player and coach J.P. Calderon. Yes, he’s met tough contenders on the court and he’s weathered the rough seas off the Cook Islands on Survivor; he’s even confronted, head-on, the mighty maelstrom that is Janice Dickinson during his most recent reality-TV stint, but now J.P. Calderon is set to tackle his toughest opponent yet. Himself.

Today as we sit down for lunch, J.P.’s ready—for the first time in his life—to speak frankly about his sexuality, his painful past, his promising future and why he thinks Janice Dickinson is the coolest person on the planet.

J.P. Calderon is the youngest of two boys. His parents divorced when he was just a baby, and his upbringing is not one full of happy memories. But it’s from these imperfect childhood memories J.P. will draw most of the emotional testimony he shares over our lunch today on this balmy winter afternoon in L.A.

“I had decided when I was younger that I was never going to come out. I was planning to get married and have kids, be closeted about it and force myself to be something I knew I wasn’t,” he says very matter-of-factly. J.P. says he knew at the time that his plan wasn’t foolproof, but his decision took precedent over his plight. In his mind—as in the minds of many young gay men—being tormented and closeted was certainly better than being gay.

“I was always the jock. I always got the girls. I was always put in that real ‘masculine’ limelight,” he remembers. “But don’t get me wrong—I do have my feminine moments. You can tell I’m gay. My friends say I’m getting gayer and gayer by the minute!” he animatedly declares. After a moment, our shared laughter falls to silence and then his sullen admission: “But back then, I would see guys who would wear real tight jeans and sashay around or whatever, and I would think, Good for you. At least you are being you. That’s something I’ve never been all my life.”

J.P. turns pensive when I ask him how this remembrance and his realization of never being true to himself make him feel today. “I’ve always regretted it,” he says quietly. “I’ve hated myself. And to realize now that I’ve always hated myself my whole life isn’t easy.”

If J.P.’s presence on the cover of our magazine doesn’t already affirm his friends’ “gayer and gayer by the minute” proclamation, surely J.P.’s new gig on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency—a show I remind him may very well be the gayest on TV today—will certainly seal the deal. “I didn’t know that at all,” he laughs. “I really didn’t! But I think this is a calling. I mean, all this stuff is happening to me for a reason. I really believe that.”

Having just recently learned to accept his sexuality at the relatively late age of 31, J.P. is still plagued by self-doubt. “I don’t want to send a bad image to anyone, but sometimes I’m still conflicted. I’m hoping I won’t always be, but I don’t know.” He goes on to share an example about his volleyball teammates and fellow models that has replayed in his mind time and again. “I see them naked all the time. They’re my bros. They’re my teammates,” he explains. “I don’t look at them in that way. I never check them out like that. But I always think, God, if I came out, are they gonna start thinking, ‘Oh, J.P. is checking me out,’ or who knows what? That bothers me
because they’re my friends, my buddies.”

Another fear that hangs over his head, is what his sexuality will mean to the kids he coaches for volleyball. “I’m a role model for kids. And it’s weird, but what if they see their gay coach in a Speedo or whatever and he’s doing this gay magazine? What are they going to think, you know? Am I going to let them down? What are their parents going to think? And I know I shouldn’t care what they think, but I do. I might be the one who is making this a bigger deal than anybody else, but I’m just really self-conscious. I’ve never been more vulnerable or self-conscious in my life.”

J.P. describes his early childhood as pretty free, and looking back on it now, perhaps freeing. He had a strong bond with his mom growing up, but breast cancer took her from him when he was just 9 years old. Of course, he was devastated. His mother had always encouraged J.P. in his more artistic endeavors, and he believes if his mom had lived past his youth, his life may have been very different—that her love and understanding may have made it easier for him to accept himself for the person he truly is. “If my mom was still around, who knows, maybe I would have been that flamboyant kid,” he acknowledges with a soft chuckle, imagining something he may never have let himself even think about before.

“My dad moved in after my mom died,” J.P. says in a tone markedly less jovial. “My brother was already in high school, going into college. He was already an adult. So my dad couldn’t really
do anything to my brother. But my dad got me when I was 9. So I had to go through being an adolescent while [my father] had to come back to raising children after pretty much being a playboy after getting divorced. He was used to being a bachelor. So we just butted heads all the way through.”

The stigma J.P. carries with him to this day is due in no small part to his volatile relationship with his father. In fact, J.P. says it’s this tortured father-son blood tie that has tormented him and shaped, or misshapen, his entire life up to this point.

J.P.’s dad died a year ago this past October from brain cancer.

“My dad represented the machismo, the whole Latino man’s man culture. As a kid, everything I liked was…wrong…in his eyes. He thought modeling and TV and entertainment were…” J.P. trails off, searching for just the right word. I think I know where he’s going but that he’s perhaps hesitant to say it out loud. So I say it for him: “Gay?”

“Yeah,” J.P. admits, his eyes hitting his plate in front of him. “I come from Latino culture and a
blue-collar family where you are only respected if you work really hard, and he never saw any of that [entertainment] as real work. There were laws that I needed to follow in order to be successful in my dad’s eyes. And his laws were never on my agenda.”

“He never trusted me. He made me feel like I was this really bad kid,” he says. Then J.P. is quiet for a minute, and I watch the emotions wash over him as the stories of his wounded childhood begin to take their toll. “You know, when I went to college my dad didn’t even help me move. Like, parents usually get into it, right? They help you. They want to get involved, visit the school? He’s like, ‘Where you going?’ and I say, ‘Dad, I’ve been packing the car because I’m leaving for school.’”

There’s another long pause, and we both begin to poke at our plates of barely eaten lunch. “All these emotions have just been hitting me,” he says, finally looking up at me. “I just remember that as a little kid he was always going out and he would leave me alone. He was never a dad. My brother was my dad…now, he—he did everything for me.”

It’s another moment and another poke at his plate before J.P.’s eyes look up at mine again. “I feel so guilty for saying this, but I felt relieved when my dad died. Because I just felt like I was free. I was finally free.”

So, do you think that if your dad hadn’t died…?

J.P. already knows my question, and he is firm and to the point: “We would not be talking right now.”

He had that much of a hold on you?

“Yes. Definitely.”

So you would still be unhappy?

“Yes. I’d still be very unhappy. I would die unhappy.” He pauses for a moment, realizing, “I think my dad died unhappy.”

Do you think your dad knew you were gay?

“I think my dad knew. Sure. I think everyone [in my family] knows. No one is dumb. I think the more you don’t talk about it, the more they can dance around it and feel comfortable because they can treat me like I am no different.”

But you are no different.

“I know that. And you know that…” J.P. trails off, managing a grin that tries to mask a deep-seated
pain that ponders why others can’t grasp how simple and true it is.

J.P. is intent on making up for lost time now. And he wants to go forward with no regrets. “I’m really, truly doing what I’ve always wanted to do. I always wanted to be in entertainment. I was such a ham when I was a kid. I loved it, you know?” he reflects. “And when my mom died, I stopped. But now I can do it again. It wasn’t until this last year when my dad passed away that I did Survivor, I said yes to Janice Dickinson, to you. I’m coming out and I’m living!” he says, fi nding a smile beneath years of hurt and disappointment. “Like, what the fuck am I doing? Why have I waited so long?”

What’s next, I wonder. “I want to model. I want to act. Sing… I want to do it all,” he reveals with genuine enthusiasm. “I really want to do things I always dreamed about but never did. All that stuff I wanted to do as a kid that immediately got shut down after my mom died. Now I’m reopening that.

“I think that’s why this is all happening. It’s not every day somebody gets slapped in the face with a major magazine like Instinct, Janice Dickinson, her TV show, another show [Survivor]. You know, I think I’m just supposed to do this. Every day I ask myself, ‘What are you doing? What are you doing? What are you doing?!’ I don’t know if this is all gonna hurt me or help me. All I do know is that I am so tired of not being able to be myself. I feel it’s a calling. It’s such a weird and rare way of coming out—an extreme way of coming out—that I just had to say, ‘Yes, I’m supposed to do this. Yes to Instinct, yes to Janice, everything!’ God’s putting this all on my plate for a reason. And I think I have to do it for me. If I put myself in the most extreme way of coming out, then it forces me to have to deal, because no matter where I go now everyone is going to know—or not know if they don’t care - but at least now nobody’s going to be questioning [my sexuality]. And I think that’s why I did it. It forces me to start living my life.”( J.P.’s coming-out story for Instinct will air on The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency on Oxygen beginning Jan. 24.)

J.P. hopes his story will help others and that he can be a role model to a younger generation of gay youth who might be afraid to live their lives honestly and without regret. “Happiness is important. When you’re ready, that’s the time to come out, but just realize life is short. Yeah, it’s a stupid cliché, but I kick myself in the ass all the time now for not doing this earlier because I’ve just wasted eight to 10 years of my life that could have been…” he pauses, “…different.”

“You know, I’ve been blaming my dad my whole life for my own unhappiness. I’ve been using the excuse of ‘woe is me’ and ‘my dad made me this way’ and blah-blah-blah for so long, but you know what? Well, I can change that now. And it’s like, ‘Okay, J.P., shut up now. Get over it. Stop blaming your dad. Yeah, he did those things to you. Yeah, he made you who you are—those things you may not like—but now you should recognize you can change it.’ I need to stop blaming my dad and everything that’s happened in my life and learn to live for me.”

His eyes meet mine and I see a determination and truth there. His smile beams, “And now, finally, I am.”

Sunday, March 30, 2008

Queer Poseur Climber # 1 Part 2

For Part 1 of this story please click here. Please welcome back Frankie as he gives us the continuation to this delicious story.

Information is so easy to get these days thanks to the Internet. I easily found more information about Carlo Robina with pictures to boot! He seems to be enjoying a semi-celebrity status in Manila. Working mostly behind-the-scenes and partying in the club scene as well. After I've washed down all the alcohol in my system, I've started to see him in a new light. I've realized that he's just okay looking. He's not looking that bad. But he's not exactly my type. So I just decided to drop it and focus on shopping for my trip to Boracay!

I was about to go out of my hotel room and when I picked up my phone, I saw 5 missed calls and 3 text messages all coming from, guess who... Carlo Robina! I didn't really know what to tell him and I didn't really want to have anything more to do him so I decided against replying or returning the calls. So I went shopping instead!

In the mall, I bumped into Boyd and Alvin, Boyd's (hot) friend who's also been a friend of mine. Boyd asked me how it was going with Carlo. I just dismissed the question and grabbed Alvin by the arm (nice bicep!) and ask how he was doing. He seemed surprised to hear Carlo's name being mentioned and I asked why. Boyd explained that he hadn't told Alvin about the Carlo incident in the FAVT bar of ours. And I told Alvin that Boyd told me that he told Boyd that Carlo banged like a drill. To which Alvin blushed. Ha Ha Ha!!! "Spill," I told Alvin.

Three frappuccinos and five shopping bags later, I've learned from Alvin how he and Carlo met, where Carlo lived and how they ended up as fuck buddies for a while and how he ended it with him (because his rear end was already sore).

Boyd, on the other hand, shared that Carlo also tried hitting up with him in FAVT but retreated when he saw Jake. Well, between Carlo and Jake, Jake's notches higher.

And speaking of the devil he was calling again. But I just gave him a miss. I'm pretty sure he'll get tired anyway.

But boy, was I wrong.

Everyday, I'd get at least 5 text messages which I don't reply to and 10 calls which I accidentally or intenionally miss. This man can't take a hint! This was going on for a week until the day I left for Boracay.

Since Boyd and Jake went off for a holiday of their own, I ended up going to Boracay with Alvin and Andy. And Andy was only too happy to sit beside Alvin on our flight and take a room with him. I decided to get a room of my own for all that potential banging.

What would Boracay be like without the parties and the beautiful people?! Andy insisted that I walked two steps behind him since he accused me of hogging all the attention. Andy, if you're reading this, I didn't choose your genetic composition so please don't take it out on me, okay? Besides, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder. I was surprised that Boracay habitués Christine Lorenzo de Vergel and her BFF's MJ Dorado and Tom Yam are nowhere to be found. Andy - the walking Tatler subscription - told me that Christine is in Europe and MJ is hiding out somewhere in the Visayas, weathering a society scandal of epic proportions. I thought that was odd but didn't think much about it as there's a dozen parties to go to!!!

Our first stop was our hotel room minibar for some aperitif. We had dinner at Cyma and then went to the beachfront party at Hey Jude's. And guess who of all Manila was there? Why, Carlo Robina! He spotted me and he looked very cross! So I looked back at Andy and asked, "What did you do to him for you to deserve that look?!"

"Uh... I think he's looking at you...."

"Whatever. Let's drink."

"Okay. Alvin, get whatever you want, it's on me," Andy, who had an agenda, said.

I saw Carlo pointing at me and whispering to his friends and I saw the look on the faces of Carlo's friends. I grabbed Andy by the arm and told him not to leave me, whatever happens.

At a certain point, with all the alcohols you've taken, you'd need to pee. So I went for the loo and while on my way, I jolted and was shocked that someone pulled my arm from behind. I was still in the bar area and I saw that I caught the attention of some people. When I was involuntarily turned around by the unknown force, I saw Carlo Robina's face! He was all red, from rage and alcohol and he told me, within earshot of everyone in the bar, "Ang kapal ng mukha mo!"

"What's your problem?!"

"Alam mo, kahit sikat kami, meron pa rin kaming pakiramdam!"

wtf?

"Ikaw, simpleng tao ka lang pero ang sama sama mo!"

WTF!

And then he left me there and walked away.

I was shocked. Really shocked. Floored even. Nothing could have prepared me for that! That was Famas best acting! He's what? Sikat? I don't even know him! He's not even half as popular as Mahal and Mura combined! This poseur social climber/pseudo-celebrity's illusion of grandeur never fails to make me laugh! He called himself sikat? Come on! You'd have to be desperately seeking attention to do that. Oh my God, I can't get over it. It amuses me to no end.

It's sad that my "friendship" with Carlo ended on a sour note. I would have gladly graced this year's fashion week had he been a bit more patient. But as I've already said, who needs to see struggling third world models strutting third world designers' wares when you can have Paris, Milan and London anytime anyway?! So I guess it's not that bad. I'll just make sure that I won't bump into Carlo Robina in Manila ever again. As in ever.

Queer Poseur Climber # 1 Part 1

Let me allow my friend, the Europe-born and bred half-noble, half-novoecijano, Frank Ulrich Cudal von Krefeld (whom I lovingly refer to with his initials), to take over this post as he is dying to share this succint experience he just went through with our feature for today: Queer Poseur Climber #1.

Hello friends and readers of Boyd and Jake! First allow me to thank my bon ami Boyd, for allowing me to use his bedpan of a blog to vent out my frustrations about Haute Manille's rather shady characters. But before that let me introduce myself. You can call me Frankie but my whole name is Frank Ulrich von Krefeld, okay... Cudal von Krefeld. And please do NOT spell the initials out loud, OKAY? I'm from Düsseldorf (yes, umlaut required), Deutschland (that's Germany to you) and I'm half-Filipino and half-German (nobility please!). My father is the fourth son of the last Pfalzgraf von Krefeld until the Federal German republic stopped acknowledging noble titles.... sigh. My mother, well, she's a pretty native of Cuyapo, Nueva Ecija! I love her to death!!! And I love Cuyapo! Go Cuyapo! And her family, the Cudals... okay OUR family, have been there even before people had surnames! Imagine Biblical times when Moses was just Moses and Abraham can be any other guy!

Anyway, enough about me, let's start talking about why I need this page in the first place. I'm here to vent and I don't have the time to put up a blog about it since I'm too stupid to make one busy and besides I wouldn't have the time to maintain it. So I'm typing away on my laptop and I'll send this Word document to Boyd as soon as I finish it.

Okay, let's get down to business. As you know already, I officially live in Germany but I divide my time between our apartment in Düsseldorf, our ancestral estate in Krefeld and my mother's farm in Cuyapo, NE (not New York, New Jersey, New Hampshire nor Nevada). When I go to the Philippines, I usually go straight to Nueva Ecija but this year I decided to spend more time in Manila. Actually that's more because I met some delicious looking locals through Gayromeo (the German G4M) and also because I planned a vacation in Boracay Island, so I need to take my flight from Manila (in über-stylish Cebu Pac ATR turboprops). I stayed in some mid-range hotel along Makati Avenue. I figured I'd best position myself in Makati since it's in the middle of all the action (and it's right beside that Favourite bar of Manila PLU's!). I was planning to meet these delicious locals in that FAVT bar of Manila PLU's so that: 1) if they turn out to be misrepresenting themselves online, I'd have the convenient excuse of being drunk and passing out that I forgot about them completely; and, 2) if they turn out to be O-factories even before I lay my hands on them, my room's just around the corner and we can bang the headboards off the bed as soon as he says yes.

It was perfect timing since Boyd and the oh-so adorable Jake (I wish he were mine) were celebrating their birthday/anniversary in that FAVT bar of ours. And I had an invite of course! Free entrance, free booze! I was kinda hesistant to ask Boyd to include my boyz in the guestlist since I don't want him to think that I'm promiscuous or desperately-looking or both. But what the heck, it was a private party, and I need to be conveniently drunk for scenario number 1. So he gladly obliged. And we're all set.

By 12mn, I was conveniently at the point of passing out. Needless to says, there was online misinterpretation and I'm thinking of filing a case against these faggots for attempted homicide (you're so ugly i'm gonna die) perjury and lying under oath. Anyway, when they texted me that they're in the club and gave descripritions of what they were wearing, I looked around, looked back to the bartender, asked for two shots of scotch, and passed out.

Minutes... or hours later, I woke up, people were smoking beside and asked where I was. I was outside the bar turns out and Boyd, who was being annoyingly smoochy-coochy with Jake, grinned at me. I noticed something rubbing my leg. It had a voice and it asked, "Okay ka na ba?"

"Who the fuck are you and what is your hand doing on my leg?"

"I'm Carlo. You're Frank right?"

"Yeah. Excuse me, I think I need to throw up. No offense. Boyd? Andy (another friend)? Come with me? Inside?"

Inside the FAVT bar of ours, I half-pulled, half-dragged Boyd and Andy inside the toilets. "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT ABOUT?!?!"

"Don't look at me, it's Andy's idea!"

"Frank, don't you know who that was?" said a beaming Andy.

"NO!"

"That's what you get for holding up in Cuyapo. That's Carlo Robina, THE director."

"Director of what?"

"I mean, THE fashion director."

"Since when was fashion 'directed'?"

"Since the day Karl Lagerfeld was born."

"What, models need to be told to walk now?"

"That's not the point. He OBVIOUSLY likes you. Why don't you give him a shot? Or maybe even just getting him laid might get us free VIP seats at the next Fashion Week."

"YOU want to offer ME up to get free SEATS? YOU make me SICK. And since when did Manila have a fashion week?"

"Excuse me it's the PHILIPPINE Fashion Week, at a national level."

"Whatever. I don't need to see struggling models wearing stuff made by struggling designers anyway, thank you."

"Come on! And he's KINDA cute anyway."

"Plus I heard from Alvin (Boyd's friend) that he bangs like a drill," Boyd offers, as if to convince me. After three seconds, I was convinced. Hahaha.

"OKAY. I'll give him a shot," I said, to Andy's delight.

We went out and Carlo Robina was still there with his friend whose name escapes me. I had the feeling that he was specifically waiting for me from the way that he beamed at me when I walked out the door. He was being chummy and he seemed impressed when I told him that I was from Germany (Typical Filipino) and I was a student of European Literature. When he asked how old I was, I think he was kinda surprised and felt old when I told him that I just turned 22. But anyway, yeah, he was KINDA cute, with "kinda" being the operative word. He didn't feel abashed about asking for my number. Of course I gave him my number. I ruled out inviting him over for a nightcap since I smelled like vinaigrette - and that's being polite about it! I decided to just go back to my room (half of the time being propped up by Boyd and Andy). Besides I need to "research" on this Carlo Robina person. And what better place to start than my laptop up in my room. But that would be for tomorrow morning!

More J.P.: J.P. on the cover of Instinct March 2008



Well, wadya know! J.P. is on the cover of Instinct this month and then have a followup interview on him one year after he came out.

Evolution Of A Model Man - J.P. Calderon
Written by Mike Wood - Photos by Peter Brown
Saturday, 01 March 2008

J.P. CALDERON came out in a big way last year. And while his life may be different now—from his weight loss to his new boyfriend—he says he’s still the same guy…only better

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

This old adage came to mind pretty quickly when I sat down with J.P. Calderon for this month’s cover story interview. When we met one year ago at this very same restaurant J.P. was, as he is today, confident and handsome, but back then he was also a tad more nervous, a little bit pensive, more than a few pounds heavier and…oh yeah, about to come out to the world with the help of this magazine and one Ms. Janice Dickinson.

Now J.P.’s out and open about who he is, where he came from and how’s he gotten to where he is today. This makes our conversation easier. He’s more relaxed, less careful about how he words things. We know each other better now, and more importantly J.P. knows himself much better, too.

“I’m changed,” he says with a smile. “My perception has changed. I didn’t give people credit—those closest to me and beyond. But I’m still the same guy. At least, I like to think I am.” On the flip side, he laughs and says, “But, yeah, I’m different, too. Last time we were here, I barely touched my food! Now, here I am scarfing down my pasta!”

The subject of one’s sexuality is never an easy one to broach, but it was particularly difficult for J.P. when we met one year ago because he wasn’t confiding in a brother, a parent or a close friend. He was laying it all on the line for everyone to hear.

“I did it for myself to begin with, but once I [came out], I started getting all these letters and e-mails and MySpace messages and…it’s just been so wonderful and humbling for me,” J.P. explains.

I ask him if he feels like a spokesperson for the gay community now.

“Yes, I do,” he says. “And the reason I do, is because I did it the way I did it. I feel like I’m on a mission now.”

With the outpouring from the community and the letters I’ve read myself here in the Instinct office, it’s clear J.P.’s story struck a chord with many across all boundaries: gay, straight, male, female, moms and dads from around the country who wrote to tell us how proud they were of J.P. for telling his story and how J.P.’s openeness had helped their relationships. That’s called impact. Knowing this, I throw out the words “role model” for J.P. to chew on in between his bites of pasta.

“I’m a role model, I guess. But I don’t want to be a perfect role model,” J.P. says. “I love to go out and have a good time. I do drink. Sometimes I do get drunk, and sometimes I do crazy or wild things. And sometimes I do the wrong things and make bad decisions. But we all do, and I think we have to be okay with that.”

We’re interrupted now by a once-shy female fan I’ve noticed has been conspicuously watching us (or rather J.P.) from across the room. She’s tentative at first, afraid to interrupt our dinner, but J.P. encourages her to say “hello” with a friendly, come-hither wave of his hand. Soon this straight, female fan is joined by an entourage of men. “Thank you,” they sing over each other. “Love your story. Love you!” The accolades spill from their mouths as I oblige to take a couple of group photos for these out-of-town visitors.

As much as J.P. seems like the same regular, nice guy I met a year ago, things have clearly changed. I’m dealing with a celebrity on some level today.


WAITING FOR THE OTHER SHOE TO DROP

There was a earnest two-month waiting period between the filming for The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency, our initial interview and Instinct cover shoot, and the episodes’ airdates and the street date of the magazine. Everything had to be kept strictly confidential and under wraps for two “long, painful months” as J.P. recalls them.

“It was two months of my life where I can’t remember sleeping. One night I’d be so happy and proud of myself, and think, I’m finally going to be so free. This is a good thing,” J.P. remembers. “And then the next night I’d be up pacing or crying and sweating and thinking, Why didn’t I just keep my fucking mouth shut?” And then he had to tell Grandma.

“My grandma is my saint. She is my angel,” J.P. says proudly. “So, of course, I waited until the last minute, because I was so nervous! But they dangled the carrot of my sexuality earlier than I thought they would [on the show].”

He points at me several times, saying, “You came on and they show you for like two weeks before our actual episode was going to air. Yeah, thanks, a lot, Mike,” he laughs, “You made me have to tell my grandma before I was ready!”

So J.P. called her...

J.P. Coming Out...

Sorry guys I just can't get enough of J.P. Calderon so I'm posting this video clip of him coming out on the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency. And Janice seemed unusually human in this video. LOL.

Waking up with... Dominic Figlio




Who can resist that? If Dominic Figlio was served to you all wet on a silver platter, would you say no? I didn't think so.

One of the models of the Janice Dickinson Experiment... oh, sorry, Modeling Agency, Dominic appeared in the show bearing the same name on Season 2 and 3. Well there's enough information out there on the Internet (with more pictures!) so don't wait for me to serve it to you! Google! Now!

Friday, March 28, 2008

Be Careful Whom You Share Your Thoughts With

It was more of my fault. I was over-sharing. There are things about my relationships with Jake that I should have kept myself. Also, there are opinions that you should have kept to yourself as well. So that makes the two of us equally guilty. And then, there's also a rule that you shouldn't kick a man when he's already down. Or don't rub more salt into a wound you helped to create. So that tips the balance towards my advantage.

You don't know half of my relationship with Jake and you're telling me that it's almost the end for us based on the choices that the two of us made. Either you're really the self-proclaimed pessimist that you are, or you're just beyond this generation, or your idea of a relationship is pegged on a certain stereotype that can no longer be changed to your disadvantage.

Jake and I worked hard on this relationship to get to where we are now. I'm not really affected by what you said or your opinion of it, nor by your snide remarks. I'm just annoyed by the fact that you can just judge a relationship without even knowing a fourth of how it happened and talk as if you're the authority on relationships when you were too proud to even try to make your last relationship work.

I'm just thinking that maybe, you're projecting your mentality to me. This is what you think would happen - or maybe this was what actually happened - to your relationships.

When people are brave enough to make tough choices to make each other happy, you shouldn't strike it down just because it doesn't conform to your beliefs. OK, granted that I shouldn't just had said anything. But you might as well had shut up.

I need no apologies and I doubt if you even would offer some. At least I learned a lesson: be careful whom you share your thoughts with. Especially on your relationships. They might not understand. It's not their fault. The best person to talk to first about your relationship is your partner. Because he's the only one who knows everything about it other than you and he give his thoughts on it as it is. Not based on an imagined existence or parallel personalities. The problem with most failed relationships is that they talk to others first about their problems before they talk to their partners. And you get this whole notion of a problem being there when it's not really much of anything. People love to play problem solvers so they create or aggravate problems. Making mountains out of molehills. The more pessimistic ones want to be ones to tell you that they told you so. And sadly, some of us want to create problems or feel the need to create problems just to be the center of attention. Talk to your partners first! It might not be a problem at all.

After that incident, I talked to Jake about it. And we talked about our supposed "issues" which, after some discussion (and much flirting over the phone) turn out to be non-issues. Our biggest issue as it turns out is knowing what other people think about our relationships. It kinda sucks but they're not the ones who are in this relationship. It's me and Jake. So they might be entitled to their own opinions but in the end, the only opinion that matters and counts is mine and Jake's.

Life's been wonderful with Jake. As he said himself, he's willing to milk this for all it's worth, the good and the bad. So let's enjoy this, Jake.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Gucci Gang Exposé

Don't tell me you haven't read or visited this blog even once! Every Netizen is hooked on this! I'm a regular visitor and commenter on this blog (as me of course, and not anonymous!) so if you're always there, spot me on the comments section! Hihihi.

Monday, March 24, 2008

Boyd and Jake go on a road trip

Yey! It was a long overdue vacation for the both of us. We haven't gone out on holidays together for quite some time. The last was when I visited Jake in Baguio last year.

This time we went northwest to Zambales! It was one of the best trips I've made. Not only because I was with Jake but also because it was so worth the trip. Although the traffic was bad when we left Manila, it was smooth sailing on the SCTEx and beyond. I never knew Zambales was that beautiful. We went to San Antonio town, in a beach called Pundaquit/Pundakit. All the resorts were fully booked but it was a good thing that we found a cozy little cottage just for the two of us.

We went to Camara and Capones Island, which are just across the beach, maybe 20 minutes away. And we camped out in Anawangin Beach. It's this cove which you access by boat and there are pine trees everywhere! It was soooo beautiful. The best part about it is that Jake was with me and there couldn't be any man in the world happier than I was :)

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Happy Birthday Boyd and Jake

I think that the best way to celebrate my birthday is to share my blessings with the people I love. I have been particularly blessed this last year and I'm very thankful for it this is my chance to thank the people who have made my life so blessed.

My college friends called for a reunion at my friend's house and they said that I was in charge of food, along with another friend who was celebrating her birthday on the same week. Of course I said yes, so I had six boxes of pizza delivered and the party got started. There were games even! So much fun! We were like college kids again. Hahaha. Jake and I rested for a while testing out my new digital SLR camera - my gift to myself, hehe - and then people called us out in the garden. And they has cake for us and everybody was singing Happy Birthday! Jake and I blew the candles so many times, I dunno why my friend kept on lighting it everytime we blew it. And we had an icing smudgefest! Hehehe. That was fun.

The next day, I was texting with Jake's college faghag and organized an early morning birthday surprise for Jake in school. I brought cake and they made sure Jake came to school - which almost failed - and then I waited inside their classroom for a while. Jake almost blew his own surprise by being too stubborn and deciding not to go to class in the morning. But I guess they forced him to really come and he did and he was really surprised that I was there! At least it worked! I've always wanted to do that (surprise my boyfriend) and guys, I'm telling you, it feels soooo good! You should do it, too!

I woke up early enough for lunch on the day of my birthday and Jake and I decided to have a late lunch date. Jake didn't have class so I was guessing he was taking his time to get to where we were supposed to meet. He was actually 30 minutes late but I decided not to dwell on it since it was my birthday and I didn't want our moods ruined. So we had more pizza and hopped to the next restaurant for dessert. I took a table outside and waited for him while he ordered. When the orders came, I was surprised that balloons came with it. And then it hit me that I was being surprised too! So I was really surprised. Hehe. I wasn't really expecting it!!! Well, duh, if I did, it wouldn't be a surprise anymore.

At the office, I had food prepared for late lunch and everybody agreed that my mom is a good cook! I'm so proud of my mom and it's so nice of her to have lovingly prepared this feast for me.

The next day after a meeting, my teammates surprised me again with another cake and a feast of Japanese food.

And then the next day, Jake and I had a joint bash for our friends in Makati. Everyone was so drunk, they went home crawling, if not being dragged! Hahahaha!

And finally on the ninth day of the birthday week, I had a quiet dinner party at home with my family and relatives and there was so much food, I wish I invited the neighbors too!

That was really the best birthday of my life... so far :)

Back Again from another Hiatus!

I'm back again from another blogging hiatus. Sorry dear readers if I do my hiatuses within months of each other. Remember that this is the summer season and so many things are happening! I'll just give you a rundown of what I have been doing during my hiatus and then I'll go into details:

* It was Boyd and Jake's birthday week!!! Yes, Jake and I celebrate our birthdays in the same week and our birthday celebrations haven't been as fun as this year's (for me at least!)

* I was reading the very juicy DJ Montano blog. Couldn't get enough of it!

* It's Holy Week and Jake and I went for a romantic getaway together!

Happy Easter!!! Here come the juicy details....

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Exclusive Lounge for PLU?

I was surprised to come across this D.tour Blue Lounge on the Pink Pages (www.pink-pages.biz). What surprised me is that I only found out about it now. They're policy of "exclusivity" must be really working then.

According to their website (dtourbluelounge.multiply.com), they're located along Shaw Boulevard near JRU. I'm not very sure about the choice of location. The neighborhoods certainly don't shout exclusivity. But I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt. I'm checking it out with Jake as soon as I've told him about it and he agrees to go. And usually he agrees anyway. Most of the time, he even leads the way. And I gladly follow, of course. :)

Anyway, if anyone of you has heard about D.tour or has been to the place, do share with me some of your experiences. I would appreciate it! If you haven't gone to the place, which is apparently members-only, check out their website for the address and the location map and directions on how to get there. And if you've decided to go, we'll see you there soon. :)

Club Mafia Manila

Orosa Courtyard, M. Orosa cor. J. Nakpil Sts., Malate, Manila

It's nice to know that the monopoly on the gay club scene is slowly and successfully being challenged. After Bed and Club Government comes Club Mafia Manila, which took over the location of The Rainbow Project (right beside Bed!). Aiko Melendez is apparently part-owner of the club. I don't know if she knows that part of the marketing strategy is to cater it to the gay population. But maybe she knows.

It looks like Bed and Government, interior-wise. But the drinks, I think, are more expensive. They charge you a door charge of 200 pesos after 12mn. And they also have go-go boys. One of the go-go boys was cute (the leaner one)... which reminds me of... the masseur... at Asian Massage. haha.

They have a "weird" mix of music. It's like a Confused House R&B Fiesta. But nevertheless, it's danceable. The people don't dance though. And they gawk at you like they've never seen a gay couple before.

The thing with Malate is that people gawk. Or stare. Especially at that corner bar (O Bar) on Orosa and Nakpil. I'm sure it's harmless flirting. But they didn't have to be that obvious.

Anyway, would I recommend Club Mafia? For the experience, yes. It needs some more time though. I don't know exactly how I feel about knowing that Aiko Melendez partly owns it. I feel... uhm... cheap? Anyway, just go there and experience the place. It's not half bad. But I'm sticking to Club Government. The people look better there anyway.